30 Mennonites walk into a Cracker Barrel....

May 25, 2010
Abingdon, VA

Serious. I just saw it happen. They got off a small tour bus and paraded in for their dinner. It was a sea of deep blue dresses, black stockings & black hiking boots. The men all looked like clean versions of ZZ Top - without the sunglasses & guitars. It made me stop and think about all the things I do not know. Like: Mennonites go on bus trips.

I wanted to ask them about that. Where were they going? Where had they been? But they simply surrounded me during their meal, heads down and mouths shut. So I did the same. I left before I had the chance to see what drew their attention in the Cracker Barrel Country Store. The Weasel Ball? The Goo-Goo Pies? I'm sure the fellas would've been pretty hot for the John Deere baseball hats. Mesh has to be cooler than wool felt. Maybe they'd have gone for the VA Tech hats, though. And the giant Whoopie Cushion would've been fun for the bus ride back to...wherever.

Mennonitemaiden.com tells me that I can buy a deep blue dress for $55. The little cotton prayer cap is $9.99. So are the mens' suspenders. Think I'll skip this opportunity - I'd need to hem the dress up too high and forgo the stockings. I didn't inherit my dad's excellent legs just to hide them like that. I was happy to see that all online purchases are via a secure website. Again, something I've never thought about: Mennonites with credit cards.

And there is a fly in my hotel room. Seems pretty creepy to me - the window is welded shut so where did the fly come from? How long has it been here? I bet he's been in here for a while - he's flying in low, slow circles. Still, he's spry enough that I can't catch up with him and smack him with the Holiday Inn Express Guest Directory. Or maybe I just ate too much at Cracker Barrel....


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